Short shorts

THE OPTIMIST

“WOW! You’re an optimist! ME TOO!”
“I said optometrist.”
“Well that’s still GREAT!”
“Shut up and read the chart before time steals more of our short lives.”

SURPRISE

“I feel like a Kinder Surprise. Empty inside.”
“Dude, Kinder Surprises have toys inside them. It’s what they’re known for!”
“Mine didn’t.”
“Oh…unlucky…”
“Wow now I am really in a dark place.”
“Like a Kinder Surprise toy!”
“Please stop talking.”

GUESS WHO

“Is your person wearing a hat?”
*nods
*flips ALL remaining tiles down
“Um … oh God. Is your person behind me?”
*smiles *nods *BLACKOUT

OH-ZONE

Ozone 1: Wow. What a bunch of aerosols
Ozone 2: Heh. Good one. As in-
O 1: Assholes. Yeah.
O 2: Hahaha
O 1: Hahaha
O 1+2: HAHAHAHA
O 1: (*Wipes tear) haha Wew!..but seriously we are dying.

HUFF AND PUFF

Pig 1: “Wanna come party at my stick house?”
Pig 2: “Oh, you’re done building. That was fast. Nah, I’m gonna finish my brick house. You sure yours is wolf saf-”
*RAVE HORN *Beat drops

MELON v APPLE

“How ’bout a nice melon?”
“I’m pretty set on apple.”
“Right … it’s just that *I’d* feel more comfortable with watermelon.”
(William Tell’s son opens negotiations)

MOMENT IN HISTORY

*Trug throws boulder at mammoth
Zog: “Shot, Trug.”
*gives bum pat
Trug: “Weird. Me Trug now heap motivated.”

PROJECT NACHO

“Gentlemen, I give you THE NACHO HAT!”
*smattering of applause
“Right, Lou. Interesting stuff. But how exactly does this help the Apollo mission.”
*presses play on tape deck
*everyone dances

*above earth, astronauts continue to drift

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