Children’s classics ruined

Fairy-Tale-Castle-fairy-tales-and-fables-5123629-1600-1200The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe

Agent: …and of course built-in wardrobe…
*opens door to reveal Mr Tumnus smoking
Tumnus: ‘Sup. You boys like to party?


Prince Charming removes the second pair of Crocs from his mum’s dishwasher and ponders whether he will ever find love. Across town, Cinderella turns to her cats: “Did you feel that?”

Peter Pan

“Hey, Neverland, I’m calling it! Spring has-” *Peter Pan vigorously removes stripper pants “sprung!!” *Bangarang starts to play

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

The dwarfs closed ranks beside the shallow grave. Doc spoke. “Remember this and none of us get done: there were always seven of us. End. Of. Story.”


“Wife, in this new house I feel our troubles are finally at an end.” Across town atop a trash pile in a warehouse Pinochio blinks and remembers his mission.

Sherlock Holmes

“That means the killer is you!” Holmes pointed to where the butler was standing to find him now dead on the floor. He was truly awful at this.

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